When it comes down to it, it’s rigid thinking that gets us into trouble. It makes us believe all sorts of things that simply aren’t true. Things like, “My spouse should automatically know how to make me happy,” “I put up with a lot, so I deserve to have an affair,” and “My spouse and I should have the perfect sex life and since we don’t, I am entitled to play around.”
Rigid demands about our relationships lead us to have a hard time dealing when things DON’T GO OUR WAY. Rigid thoughts about what we DESERVE and WHAT WE ARE ENTITLED TO may lead us to make poor choices, such as engaging in infidelity. Rigid thoughts make us feel JUSTIFIED in our actions.
But what if we thought about our partner rather than our own demands? Are we doing all we can to make our partner feel GOOD in RETURN? Are we holding our partner up to a HIGHER STANDARD than we hold ourselves?
For more food for relationship thought, visit www.infidelityclinic.com.
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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Institute of Southern California
20331 Irvine, Avenue, Suite E1
Newport Beach, CA 92660-3504